She’s the best thing I’ve ever felt in my entire fucking life. For a second, I think I might actually have been forgiven by God for all my sins since I’ve been given the most perfect gift I’ll ever receive.
Confession: I have never given a Sawyer Bennett book a clean 5 star review. There was always something keeping me from doing it. This time however, I can wholeheartedly say it was perfect for me.
We have met Kyle previously. He was the undercover agent who saved Maggie in Wicked Bond. He was also mentioned and had cameos in other Wicked Horse books. So we know that Mayhem Mission, the one percenter MC, was brought down by him and mostly by him. He went deep undercover and to be convincing he had to do heinous things for the greater good.
But in order to do it, I had to let go of every bit of my humanity, and I had to embrace a life bankrupt of any morals, decency, or kindness
As the FBI is waiting for the trial, which would also put a senator behind bars and expose his role in the downfall of the motorcycle club, Kyle is hiding away in Maine - everybody thinks he is dead. He isn't made for a life of leisure though so soon the walls start to close in on him and he stars feeling restless. He also keeps to himself, he can't afford attachment and after all the devastation that was caused with his help he doesn't easily connect with people.
Jane's new neighbor is hot. She can't help but ogle him but somehow that's not enough. She keeps trying to get to know him, yet the grumpy guy resists. It takes a busted pipe and a jerk of an ex-boyfriend for him to open up a bit but once he does he is utterly charmed by this art teacher who cites movie quotes with a mischievous smile on her face.
“Pipe,” I gasp out, realizing how out of breath I am not only from the adrenaline coursing through me, but also from the mad dash over here. “Burst. Water everywhere.” His eyes snap back up to mine. “What?” And then, complete lunacy bursts forth from my lips as I hold out the red valve for him to see. “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope. Star Wars, 1977.”
Jane was such a wonderful surprise. She was quirky, sweet and refreshingly artless, bright and real. I loved how she quoted movies at the oddest times (one time in front of a mirror...you can take an educated guess what they were doing in front of a mirror). Jane doesn't give up, she pursues Kyle relentlessly with so much charm and wit that I'm in awe that it took him so long to give in. She was a dork, cute and adorable, yet understanding and she didn't push Kyle knowing he'd only clam up.
I see a man who wants something for himself but is too afraid to take it. He’s afraid of failure. So I throw my shoulders back, determination forging my spine into steel, and I vow to myself I’m going to get through those walls he just put up around himself, no matter what it takes.
Kyle keeps Jane at arms length for her own good and because his self hatred and shame for the things he did goes deep. It was amazing to see how this sweet woman cracked his veneer, one day at time. I totally understood their connection. Kyle was mysterious in the beginning, really grumpy and dark but with Jane his resolution to keep his distance soon crumbles and turns to dust. He soaks up Jane's light and almost feels normal.
I couldn’t imagine doing something like this… all normal and romantic. It’s a completely foreign concept, and yet I’m drawn even harder to these things with Jane. My curiosity about this laid-back, normal way of life is piquing, and perhaps I’m even remembering a bit how to live this way.
Finding Kyle has Sawyer Bennett's reliable low angst formula and little drama. With this book we also get an adorable heroine and a troubled hero and together they create something magical and electric. And holy moly, the steamy scenes were out of this world.
I loved the main characters' connection. The way Jane sneaked under Kyle's skin was hilarious. This is my favorite Sawyer Bennett book. I loved every minute I got to spend with these two. And I'll never look at paintbrushes the same way again.
Finding Kyle can be read as a standalone!