On the Brink
In the Zone #0
I love MM. If done right it can be superhot. For me this didn't hit the mark.
Jeremy is an art student who is gay and out of the closet. He prides himself in not having to hide. He pines for the captain of the hockey team, Hart. One day, after a hockey game where he had the chance to ogle Hart again, he returns to his car and finds it vandalized. Hart pulls up and gives him a ride home. In the car things get a bit out of hand when Jeremy offers to experiment a bit. But Hart isn't gay, is he?
This story would have profited immensely from a full length novel. It felt rushed, there were a lot of things happening in the span of 90 pages. A lot of situations seemed forced and didn't develop naturally.
Jeremy was a little bit going overboard with his adoration for Hart. His inner thoughts were constantly consumed by Hart's dick, Hart's face, Hart's this, Hart's that. It was a little bit overwhelming. Hart wasn't exactly a charmer either.
I really had a tough time connecting with either of the characters and I do think that a bit more length would have done this story a huge favor.